Dear John

To my beloved volunteer management,

I want you to know that I love you, that deep in my heart I think I will always love you. You have given me the most amazing three years of my life and our time together has meant everything to me. I have to admit that we have had our ups and downs, people haven’t always believed in us but when I look back they were never the ones who really mattered. You have introduced me to some amazing people who have changed and inspired me and supported the relationship throughout our journey and without these people we might not have got to where we are. With you I have grown as a person, had some amazing experiences and together we have had a lot of fun.

It lies heavy on my heart that I must now say goodbye. Victims of circumstance we must now part, a difficult decision but I feel like it is the only way. We might have had a chance at another time but just now it doesn’t seem to be working. I have come to realise that I need certain things from a relationship that you don’t seem able to give me. I need a full time commitment, someone to tell me I’m needed and that I don’t need to move heaven and earth to be with them. I know you have other priorities but you need to understand that my opinion counts. Hearing it from other people is fine but I need to hear it from you. I hope you see that I have fought for us. I have tried. But something always gets in the way. I have been prepared to go the extra mile, to go further and compromise to fit in with what you want but I don’t see you doing the same. You want me to move, to leave my family and friends behind or travel to London and beyond without offering enough in return.

It wasn’t as if we didn’t have chemistry, we worked together and I can’t escape that, but I have to look after myself and move on. Sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t understand me, that you are so focused on making money or investing in other relationships that I have no say in what happens. I need someone who will nurture me and let me shine and I get the feeling there are others out there who are doing that without wanting so much in return. The fact that I have given my time to you yet expected nothing in return should show how much you mean to me but it feels like it isn’t enough and that has been tough to accept.

I suppose what I’ve learned recently is that it wasn’t you giving me strength but the opportunity to show how strong I am naturally, and that doesn’t rely on you.

I’m not saying never, I’m just saying not now.  

Good luck.

D xx